Well it's been quite dusty on my side of the corner. My HEW tanks remained in the drawer and my laundry loads had subsided. We have been quite lax about our fitness goals as the year began and thus our attendance at HEW were down to once-a-week, at most.
After Battle of the Boxes in mid-January, I wanted to take a break to let my body recuperate. The Battle itself was difficult. It definitely pushed me to my limits and I managed to hang power clean #85 for at least 37 reps. That alone made my body say "what the hell are you thinking? This is 73% of your body weight!" To date, I had never accomplished such a feat--that since then, I've been a bit deterred to even try.
But that was not the cause of my hiatus. It was not fear or fatigue. It was a pure utter roller coaster ride of bad luck to good fortunes. From February and to present day, life presented me with a natural disaster that impeded on my schedule to be able to attend the gym. And as grass was starting to turn into emerald green, I was told to aim towards a promotion in my career that steered my focus at full-speed work. (Hence, pulling in 10-hour work days).
But now it's April and, at last, I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. I know I have faltered.
And I think part of the reason that I allowed myself "to let go" was because I know how successful HEW/CrossFit is.
But this hiatus is not all for naught.
I finally have learned that my competitive turned self-deprecating attitude was pointless. I now know my place in the athletic world, and it's not with the elite. And I'm ok with that.
It's not a defeating notion, I am still going to push my limits. I just know a lot/some are better and more fit than me. They have been born with a gift to do well in sports and have the body for it. It's not endurance or the will to succeed. It's the biological sense of their make-up. Take Danny, for example, he's always been able to do well with sports and lifting, and I admire that. Before, I used to get upset and envious of women my age and size that can lift heavier and run faster.
What I was forgetting was my family history of asthma and bad knees. (Everyone in my family has had some sort of left knee issue just from walking or living. Not sure the condition, but just ask any of them! Actually today, one of my cousins is going into surgery to repair her meniscus).
I have overcome these shortcomings. I have move past the jealousy and have started to push and encourage them. After all, I'm sure I've got great points on my favor that they wish they had too.